Sober From ClutterBy: Janet L. HallEvery Sunday in the spring and summer an acquaintance I have goes out all day to yard sales. It's her ritual, her habit, and Cold Heading Part Manufacturers the "thing" she does on Sunday. She's addicted! She's really looking for something to feed her Spirit and Soul, make her feel good, change her life, get what she wants; all the while, all around her she is drowning in clutter.Many of the things we do, think, say, and the way we act or react is out of habit. Most of the time we are totally unaware of these actions, thoughts, or sayings because they are so ingrained into our fiber of being, or we are in some kind of pain.If you want to correct, change, or replace a habit, you must first become aware of the old habit and replace it with a more desirable habit.
To break an unwanted habit, such as hitting the yard sales every Sunday or shopping till you drop, I feel you must look deep within yourself to discover the true reason you are "spending" like there's no tomorrow, or bringing home stuff you really have NO need or space for! You must admit you have a habit that is undesirable, and be committed to changing.Getting "sober" or becoming more mindful of your actions and undesirable habits will help you become more aware of what you are buying, saving, or hoarding, and why. It will allow you to be more in tune with yourself, and cause you to stop and listen. Hopefully you can correct the habits of "shopping till you drop, piling up, saving everything for someday, or just in case."For one whole day, be as conscious as possible of ALL your actions, thoughts, and sayings towards your clutter, your shopping, and of saving stuff; from the time your eyes open to close and all the time in between. Pay close attention to the emotional causes of your clutter behavior and what effect it is having on you and possibly those around you. Question yourself; ask why you do the things you do.What is your Spirit and Soul lacking, or what fears do you have that you feel you must buy, collect, or hoard in order to replace that "lack" or feed that fear?Many times I have arrived at a clients home or office where it is not uncommon that they start sobbing and pleading for my help.As I work with clients, I get to know a lot about them and their life.
Being an "old-hat" at this I can usually see or sense what their "true" problem is. Not wanting to invade what little privacy they have left, I usually wait for them to discover or confess what has brought them close to the point of no return. What has made them into a "shop till you drop," "a collector of things," "a pack-rat," a QVC junkie, or a "just in case" clutter person.It always comes down to, in one way or another; their Spirit and Soul, aren't being feed, fear, or both.Four Top Emotional Reasons for Your Clutter:1. Your Spirit, body, and mind aren't getting any love, intimacy, or attention.2. You over compensate because you had little growing up, so you want it now and you want your children to have it all too!3. You have fear or guilt of getting rid of things that were given to you.4. You have so much pain and sadness you think all your stuff will make it better - it doesn't!Is your clutter holding you hostage because of your fear of letting go, fear of not being loved, fear of not being a good parent?What emotional reason is causing your clutter problems? What are you doing that might be replacing something missing in your life? Maybe you aren't even aware of it yet. Stop and really think on this. Ask yourself WHY you do the things you do. Be honest with yourself. It's not always easy, I know. This question can open up a lot of other questions and/or painful memories. Once you become aware of the WHY, you can start to move forward and discover the HOW. How can you change these habits, rituals, and compulsions?Just like an addict, you need to start rehabilitating your life.